Important Things About A Zombie.

I need a new fucking job #me
Have yet to not be excited by this phone. #me
unit-26:

misandry-mermaid:

stfueverything:

kanaya-maryammm-or-fmmm:

many of the things wrong with the world can be summed up in this comment

how do people still find this joke funny? 

Sandwich jokes are a product of men feeling intimidated by women who are smarter, stronger, or more successful than they are.

Not entirely applicable but to some extent Lewis’s Law come into effect here. “[T]he comments on any article about feminism justify feminism.” Helen Lewis (@helenlewis)

If you don’t cry when you watch GotG I don’t like you.

bemoretea:

It is like A/C for your picnic.
Head over to LiptonSUNday.com for a chance to win an #ExtraSUNday!
Credit: Sam Cannon

All I can think is that the people spit the tea back into their cups…
y’all should snapchat me
y’all should snapchat me
New phone selfie
New phone selfie

dysfunctionalqueer:

PSA if you send me nice messages and i don’t respond

there is a 100% chance i saw it and it made me super duper uber happy but i have no idea how to respond and i will let it sit in my inbox for days or weeks and smile when i see it but still have no idea how to respond 

there is a 0% chance that you annoyed me and i don’t like you. 

I have an anon from over a year ago. It was the nicest thing anyone has ever said. I look at it every day.

(via bonersaurus-sex)

postllimit:

why iphones gotta take two million years to turn back on after they die like you plug em in and you’re all ready to start texting again but they’re like “nope. i gotta take some time for myself. figure out who i am. you hurt me too much the last time. let me think.”

(Source: postllimit, via grapejellyking)